Black lizard of the dream tree

I am the black lizard of the dream tree
I eat hope and spit men.
I am dust, I am fire, I am lust.
I conquer lives, surrender souls.
Break hearts and poison spirits.
I am the black lizard of the dream tree.

Kiss the air

Durt

I feel like durt

Like sparkles of dust mingling

Like I have no purpose

No life

No lie

The unfrozen ice that shadows the sun

Remains inside me

Outside I only try

Day after day I only try

To be myself

I try to resist the temptation

Of being tempted by others

By lust

By divinity

By sadness

But in the end

I am only kissing the air.

Messed down

Looking down
To the ground
Looking up
To the sky
I see myself fading away

The reflection of my soul
Is faceless
Is breathless
Embracess the darkness
That surrounds me

If only I could
Dream away the pain
Found a way to obliterate
My thought
My skin

I am all messed down
The absence of you
Is the absynth of me

Borrowed

I am borrowing time
I am breathing somebody else's oxygen
Somebody else's air
I am living somebody else's life

It's not my own
It is only mine to give back
To give away
To return to its rightfull owner

My life is not my life
My smile is not my smile
My face is not my face
My soul is not my soul

Borrowed from God
Borrowed
Soon to be taken back

Remains

I always wonder if you know
How it feels like when you leave
My body
What remains after you have left
My soul

I wonder if you know
That I am nothing without you
That I am only
Only that I am
Nothing but a whisper
That wanders the streets

The simplicity of your absence
Makes everything so difficult
And yet
All that remains
Is you

Violent

Violent thoughts
Violent dreams
Violent feelings
Violent emotions
Violent screams
Violent tears
Violent life
Violent love

Violent death

And a small pearl that never fades

Doubts & Fears

Am I really wrong?
Am I really gone?

I feel disturbed by the noise
I feel disturbed by the caos
Of my mind

I wich I could be with you
More
I wich I could be with me
Always

In the narrowing road I keep searching
For the uncertain certainty
That is me

The overflow

Come the overflow
Come with the feelings and the shadows
Leave with nobody
Leave with me

Walk with me

Walk with me
To a place where happiness floats
Like a lost feather
Where loneliness never fades
Away

The dark claws
Of the black crow
Hurt like love
Leaving deep scars
In our hearts

Through a wide path
A narrowing road
At the end
We all suffer less
Than we should

As I wander along
I wonder alone
If this makes sense
This holly intervention
That as left us in despair

We all leave ourselves
Someday
When we try to rediscover
The true meaning
Of our soul

Of our human soul

The mirror of myself

The reflection is obscure
In the blinding road
The image of my face fades
Away with my thoughts
The light in my eyes is too dark
Sleepless, helpless, thoughtless

I would have imagined I will be something else by now
I had high hopes but never high dreams

The world is too bad for me
Has I try to explore, I ignore
That some people never deserve
My love
My friendship

The reflection fades
In the wide path
That lights the way
Away.

Loneliness

When I was young I thought I could be alone
Now loneliness haunts me
Even dought I am not alone

Trying

I try to be
I try to feel
I try to open my soul
I try to close the right doors
I try to wonder what I would be
I try to suffer less
I try to use more
I try to learn from others
I try to explain
I try to teach some of my wisdom
I try to have some knowledge
I try to have some thoughts about life
I try to praise friendship
I try to survive in the world
I try to breathe slowly
I try to eat nutritious food
I try to care about others
I try to take care of helpless
I try to achieve my goals
I try to find goals
I try not to faint
I try to smile to other people
I try to socialize
I try to be myself

When will I achieve all this?

Absolution

I was wondering the other day,
Underneath the cloudy sun of my mind,
If the moment will come
If the moment will ever come
When happiness will break through
When pro-activity will take place
When the invisible hands of something superior
Will help me
Getting through this
Getting through all of this
Wondering
Thinking
Imagining
Things that never were
Things that one day might be.

Moment

This is the moment
This is the greatest moment
Of my empty shallow life
Of my empty shallow heart

I breathe in
Wonder if when the drop falls
And turns into thunder
Water flowing through my veins
Like wind
I breathe out

The moment is myself
I am within
Do we live when we stop breathing?
Maybe only for a brief whisper
Space divided

My mind is an infinite puzzle
I lost almost all the pieces
Into the black void
That is me

This should be the moment
This should probably be the greatest moment
Of my shallow death
Of my empty shallow self

Torned

Walking along
Walking alone
Among the pieces of human faces
Among torn arms and torn souls

Sliding away with the long last hatred
Of the everlasting grey wolf
That haunts the simple remains
Of my poor human soul

Am I really human?
Am I really someone?
Do I really deserve this?
This gentle smile that lights the way.

I walk the dark road
Thanks to the blinding light
Of love.

Lucidity ever lost

I
I wonder
If everything has a purpose
If anything needs a moment

My clear thinking has been changed
By a lucidity ever lost

Deep inside

Deep inside me I feel
I feel it deep inside
Like a silent sound that is yet to be heard
Like a giant scream that needs to come out

Somewhere
Some how
Deep inside the darkness of my soul
Inside the depth of my weak heart

I know that I know
That I used to know what is now unknown to me
I hope that the soft breeze of the future will bring it back
My heart

Soon I know
That deep inside
The whisper that is me
Will be, will exist

Deep inside me I feel
I feel it deep inside
The sound of what's to come

Space in lost

On a day like today, I am slowly fading away
Giving up to the forces of the white crow
Embracing the power of the black angel

I need you so much
I need you so much in heaven

The dark clouds of my mind keep trying
To spread the right word, to sense the right feeling
The word is love
The feeling is hate

I am losing it, definitively

Forgot

I was here, but my mind was so messed up that I forgot how to get there.

Surrounded

I am surrounded by chaos, by fear, by illusion and deceit.

My mind is like a rollercoaster to hell, like a speed train that was separated from the ground. I need to relax. Relax needs me. I am slowly losing my faith in this faceless human animal that haunts my thoughts and my world.

I have no perspectives, no friends, no dogs or ants. Only the slowly moving worms that eat the flesh of the shredded pieces of my heart.

I hope some day they will understand.